How delayed grief led to collapse of my marriage

• Jim Iyke spilled the tea on his tumultuous marriage with his Caucasian ex-wife, Dana Kinduryte, in a no-holds-barred interview with Toke Makinwa.
• The chat, also graced by Kate Henshaw and Chidi Mokeme, saw the actor lay bare the nitty-gritty of why he parted ways with Kinduryte and how the prolonged agony took a toll on him.

Celebrated Nigerian actor Jim Iyke has pulled back the curtain on how wrestling with the loss of his mother threw a curveball into his marriage with Lithuanian ex-wife, Dana Kinduryte.

In a recent podcast with the charismatic Toke Makinwa, alongside his Colleagues Chidi Mokeme and Kate Henshaw, Jim delved into how delayed grief played a part in the end of his marriage.

The movie luminary divulged that his failure to mourn his late mother properly was the root of the issue. Jim Iyke confessed to procrastinating the grieving period, and when he eventually faced his sorrow, it had already exacted a toll on his marriage.

He said the passing of his mother, a cherished figure in his heart, left him profoundly distraught, vividly recounted the heart-wrenching moment of receiving the news of her demise during a BBC interview, which shattered him to pieces.

Jim noted that he was in the middle of constructing a house for his beloved mother when her demise occurred.

The actor went on to reveal that as the sole male child, he was thrust into the position of the unyielding, stoic pillar of strength in his family. This left him with little space to openly express his emotions. While the rest of his family openly grieved, he shouldered the mantle of being the unwavering support.

According to him, it was solely after the final burial rites that he mustered the courage to come to terms with his own emotions. He recalled that initially, he grappled with the enigma of what was causing his inner turmoil.

However, a turning point arrived when he found himself entangled in disputes over trivial matters, such as his mother’s possessions, particularly her treasured jewelry. This was a stark reminder that his grieving journey was far from being over.

Jim shared that during this challenging period, his ex-wife made genuine attempts to offer him emotional support and love. However, he conceded that he couldn’t reciprocate her affection. Instead, most of his love and attention were channeled towards their child, which inevitably caused strain in their marriage.

The actor recognized his wife’s justifiable feelings of jealousy as he lavished their child with affection at a time when she also needed his support.

Jim mentioned that, in an attempt to address his emotional turmoil, his ex-wife proposed therapy as a potential solution. Regrettably, he hesitated due to a traditional belief that therapy wasn’t a fitting avenue for an African man like himself. Looking back, he regrets not embracing the opportunity for professional assistance.

He added that eventually, his ex-wife reached a breaking point, recognizing that his prolonged mourning for his mother had irreparably damaged their relationship.

WATCH HIM SPEAK BELOW

Jim’s mother died on April 1, 2014, and he and divorced wife, Kinduryte have a son together.